I have never seen the original House (1985, not the 1977 J-Horror movie of the same name.) I hear it’s a good movie. A great supernatural horror film from what I’ve been told, but never saw it. The only House movie I’ve seen out of the five (will discuss after the synopsis) film series, was the second entry; House II: The Second Story. Let’s discuss it.
The plot goes as follows. On a dark and stormy night, a mother and father are escaping their mansion-like home because a zombie like gunslinger wants them fucking dead. Many years later the baby, Jesse (Arye Gross) moves into his old family home with his girlfriend, Kate (Lar Park-Lincoln, yeah, Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood Lar Park-Lincoln.). Things get shaken up when Jesse’s friend Charlie (Jonathan Stark) and his piece of ass Lana (Amy Yasbeck) show up uninvited to throw Jesse a house warming party. Charlie is also trying to get Lana a record deal with Kate's boss John (Bill Maher). Jesse finds a picture of his great-great-grandpa holding a crystal skull. Charlie convinces Jesse to dig up his grandpa one night and the two go and dig up good ol’ Gramps. Only to find out he’s alive… kind of. He’s a zombie! Kind of.
Quick note, Gramps is played by the great Royal Dano, many today remember him more as the old man from the opening of 1988’s Killer Klowns from Outer Space. From the 1950s-1960s he starred in numerous westerns. His IMDb is a laundry list of roles. He was the textbook definition of a character actor. And his role of Gramps is a great representation of that. There’s a scene where Jesse and Charlie ask Gramps what it was like in the old west, and Gramps, tearfully, tells them story after story of his time as an outlaw and his time with Slim. Slim was the zombie gunslinger from the opening. Royal Dano’s performance hits and is easily the best part of the movie, and a very important part. Gramps is Jesse’s only family and their bond throughout the movie is sweet.
There’s also a part in the movie that… just feels weird. John Ratzenberger plays an electrician who takes Jesse and Charlie through this weird alternate reality in the house. Yeah the house has rooms that warp time and reality. Crystal skull magic? They end up saving a virgin sacrifice, only credited as Virgin (Devin DeVasquez) who just… is there now. She’s just there. Charlie also throws a Halloween costume party in Jesse’s house where Kate and Lana get rizzed away by late 80s Bill Maher. The film ultimately ends with Slim being destroyed and the house along with him. Jesse, Charlie, and the Virgin live their lives in the old west where Gramps is laid to his final rest.
This is a great movie, and it’s by far the best House sequel. The original was a serious horror film, the sequel is more of a black comedy. It’s not horror at all. It takes the Halloween III approach, where instead of trying to redo the first movie again, it goes for trying something different. Something new. And I believe it does it well. How can you hate a movie that has Kane Hodder dressed as a gorilla and falling from a second floor onto a couch? As mentioned the relationship between Jesse and Gramps is sweet, made even greater by the performances of Arye Gross and Royal Dano. It's a shame this movie is hated as much as it is. For the longest time it sat at a whopping 0% on Rotten Tomatoes. Which is unfair to a movie that knew it couldn't recreate the original so tried something different.
This movie, as well as all the others were produced by Friday the 13th creator Sean S. Cunningham, and it was for this review that I discovered a new House movie is in the works with Cunningham returning to produce. Unsure if it's a brand new story or a generic remake. Will have to wait and see.
I give this movie three skulls out of four. Steve says check it out. It’s a great flick, made better by Royal Dano.
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